Good Excuses for a Medical Card

Good excuses for a medical marijuana card

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Who says you’re not qualified to use medical cannabis? Well, a doctor might. So, if you aren’t sure you qualify for any of the conditions in your state’s MMJ program, what can you do? If you’re looking for good excuses for a medical card, we have you covered.

Presently, over two-thirds of the states in the US have a medical marijuana program of some kind. Some states have a pretty crusty, unbending list of qualifying conditions for patients, but many leave some wiggle room for medical marijuana card approval. And this, they leave to the discernment of the physician signing off on your MMJ certification.

In this article, we’ll help you increase your odds of qualifying for an MMJ card in your state, especially if you don’t fall squarely into a condition listed by your state’s health department or cannabis authority. With a little knowledge in your noggin, a strategy for approach, and some polish on your communication skills, you’ll be representing yourself as a qualifying patient in no time.

Consider the Qualifying Conditions

Know before you go. It’s a good idea to brush up on the medical cannabis rules and restrictions for your state before you sprint in for your physician certification. A major part of this will be knowing what your home state’s MMJ program qualifying conditions are. Without knowing this, coming up with good excuses for your medical card may be impossible.

States tend to adopt similar programs, so a lot of these condition lists will look similar. Here’s a typical list of MMJ qualifying conditions. Remember: the list for your state likely varies to some degree. Always take the time to research your state’s MMJ laws.

List of Common Qualifying Conditions for MMJ Card

Good Excuses for a Medical Card: Sample of Qualifying Conditions by State

To illustrate the point of common conditions and how state lists vary, here are the qualifying conditions for some of the states Elevate serves. Most of the above conditions are found on these lists. From these, you can effortlessly come up with good excuses for a medical card.


  • Cachexia/wasting syndrome
  • Anorexia
  • Severe pain
  • Severe nausea
  • Seizures
  • Severe or persistent muscle spasms
  • Glaucoma
  • Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
  • Chronic pain
  • Another chronic medical condition which is severe and for which other treatments have been ineffective


  • Cancer
  • Epilepsy
  • Glaucoma
  • Intractable migraines
  • Chronic pain or persistent muscle spasms (including those associated with multiple sclerosis, seizures, Parkinson’s disease, and Tourette syndrome)
  • Debilitating psychiatric disorders (including but not limited to PTSD)
  • A medical condition typically treated with prescription drugs that could lead to physical or psychological dependence
  • Any terminal illness
  • *Any other chronic debilitating medical condition, including but not limited to:
  • Hepatitis C
  • ALS
  • Irritable Bowel Syndrome
  • Crohn’s disease
  • Huntington’s disease
  • Autism
  • Neuropathy
  • Sickle cell anemia
  • Alzheimer’s disease
  • Cachexia
  • Wasting syndrome


Application and recommendation must be submitted by a licensed Oklahoma physician. There are currently no specific qualifying conditions. (Recommendations are left up to the discretion of the physician.)


  • Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis
  • Anxiety disorder
  • Autism
  • Cancer, including remission therapy
  • Crohn’s disease
  • Damage to the nervous tissue of the central nervous system (brain-spinal cord) with objective neurological indication of intractable spasticity, and other associated neuropathies
  • Dyskinetic and spastic movement disorders
  • Epilepsy
  • Glaucoma
  • Huntington’s disease
  • Inflammatory bowel disease
  • Intractable seizures
  • Multiple sclerosis
  • Neurodegenerative diseases
  • Neuropathies
  • Opioid use disorder for which conventional therapeutic interventions are contraindicated or ineffective, or for which adjunctive therapy is indicated in combination with primary therapeutic interventions
  • Parkinson’s disease
  • Post-traumatic stress disorder
  • Severe chronic or intractable pain of neuropathic origin or severe chronic or intractable pain
  • Sickle cell anemia
  • Terminal illness
  • Tourette Syndrome

This is an excellent sample of state lists. Oklahoma is obviously the least restrictive about qualifying, but this is not an excuse for going in unprepared! Doctors will still take their role in certification seriously. Missouri gives the doctors a nice margin for interpretation, while Maryland’s list is punctuated with a sliver of interpretation. Finally, Pennsylvania has a lengthy but very specific list with seemingly little chance for loopholes — but they are there, e.g., anxiety disorders and medical marijuana for chronic pain.

Shades of Qualifying: Your Good Excuses

It’s likely that, in most states, we’re all qualifying to some degree. But a licensed physician like our compassionate cannabis doctors at Elevate Holistics is going to need something substantial enough to base a medical record upon. If you’re going to a family practitioner who has little-to-no experience with cannabis medicine, they’re likely to be even more rigorous in their questioning.

Remember, you have every right to ask your doctor about medical marijuana. If they don’t seem on board, there are many services Elevate offers that specialize in medical marijuana patients. Just be sure you choose an online clinic that has licensed doctors and practices safety and security.

Many of us suffer from anxiety or sleep disorders to some degree. Are these good excuses for getting a medical card? If they disrupt your life, we say yes. Some of the conditions that fall into the gray area of qualifying but could be a good excuse to go for that MMJ card might include:

Now, how do you turn those shades of gray into certain certifications? It’s all about approach and communication. You don’t have to be an Ocean’s Eleven member: just have a regular conversation about your condition.

Approach for Your MMJ Certification Appointment

To prepare for your appointment, gather medical records or proof of prior treatment. This is evidence that will strengthen your chances. You don’t have to have a previous diagnosis, but if you do have a record of your condition, it may certainly seal the deal.

Do some legwork on the condition. If you want to qualify because of anxiety, research how MMJ may help.

Prepare talking points. People who regularly suffer from a condition are usually well-versed in explaining it. Don’t look like you’ve never talked about it before, or Doc might interpret it as “seeking” behavior.

What Your Certifying Physician Likely Needs to Hear

Does your condition affect your lifestyle, an activity, or your ability to function? In what way is your condition debilitating or disruptive to your life? If you are wanting MMJ to treat anxiety, insomnia, or chronic pain, this should be fairly easy to explain. But be ready to say how it’s affecting your work, your family dynamic, your overall sense of well-being. Don’t look like you don’t know what it’s like to live with the qualifying condition.

Mention how you’ve tried treatments that did not work. For example, how sleep aids made you feel groggy the next day. Anxiety meds caused you to feel sluggish and slurred your speech. Depression medication put the kibosh on your sex drive. These are all good excuses for a medical card.

Show that you’ve done some at least some preliminary research on the subject. (Feel free to check out the Elevate blog for how medical marijuana can help a variety of conditions.) Talk about someone you know that MMJ has helped.

Furthermore, ask the doctor questions about medical marijuana and how it might help you. If you are naturally engaging, like you would be if you were there for an antibiotic, the doc will likely not suspect you of just being there to get weed to get high.

Elevate Holistics — Compassionate and Hassle-Free

Our compassionate cannabis doctors are ready to hear your need for a medical weed card. You can book a same-day appointment and have a telehealth visit right from your own home. Trust us, we understand that the MMJ process may seem a bit intimidating. But, that’s exactly why we’re here. ( Elevate is dedicated to providing you with an anxiety-free medical marijuana appointment. From start to finish, no matter how tech-savvy you are or aren’t, Elevate has the most helpful MMJ doctors on the market.

So, what’re you waiting for? Come up with your good excuses for a medical card and BOOK YOUR SAFE AND SECURE APPOINTMENT TODAY!

Patient resources:

Frequently Asked Questions by state:

Dispensaries near you:

Missouri MMJ & Guns:

Interested in getting a medical card in ArkansasMissouriPennsylvaniaMaryland, or Oklahoma? Click the state and you’ll have all the information you need. 

Elevate Team

Elevate Team

Elevate Holistics is a telehealth platform focusing on getting people their medical marijuana cards and physician’s medical cannabis certifications / recommendations as simply and easily as possible. Today, Elevate Holistics operates in multiple states, has served thousands of HAPPY PATIENTS, and is innovating to provide doctors & patients a better medical marijuana evaluation experience.

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